Last night I actually invented a time machine, its true, honest. Couple of baked bean tins, xbox, and my old beta max recorder, wired into the national grid, I grabbed my cap and skateboard and in true back to the future style off into history I jumped, well it was the first floor step with a can of stella but lets just ignore that for this flight of fancy….
I was stumbling, dazed through the backstreets of some dismal provincial city when I wondered into a pub somewhere near the end of the M62, there sat behind the bar was the one and only Paul McCartney (The replacement one not the original….lol)
Paul approached me and I told him I had the idea for a song, it was called ‘oyster card to ride’ and I gladly wrote out the lyrics for him on the back of a matchbox.
I now demand my share of the royalties from the entire sales of the Beatles back catalogue…..
Oh hang on….
Sorry….this is completely ridiculous…..
Must have been a dream…..
Nope, I definitely invented the time machine….can see the empty bean cans from here…..
Oh well must have dreamt the rest of it up in a medicated schizophrenic coma.
That reminds me, must jump back to 2002 and find some mad Scottish nutcase to convince him to claim to be Mark Knopfler’s lyricist…
Time Travel Eh!